Fat Calves

NO.

NOT THE YOUNG COW.

THE LOWER PART OF THE EXTREMITIES ONE CALLS THE LEGS.

This is something I’ve been wanting to blog about since I realized I could write whatever I wanted (within reason) here as of…3 days ago. The particular events that lead up to the frustration I’m about to let out is based on a month-long boot hunt (Have no fear, my beautiful readers, this is not going to become a fashionista post or faux-pas post about how I couldn’t find the right style and blah blah blah let’s get to the rant, shall we?)

So three weeks ago on a Friday I head on down to Metrotown after class to go on a hunt for black boots (I had to part with my previous pair because, unfortunately, the Vancouver weather coupled with a bazilliongillion stairs at SFU made for an unhappy set of boots). Anyways I pop into the first store, get a few pairs in my size, try them on…

HAHAHAHA silly me…

I didn’t try them on!

Why?

BECAUSE THEY DID NOT FIT OVER MY CALVES.

WTFBBQBYOBGTFO.

Okay, I’ll admit I’m not the skinniest of girls. In fact, I’m not even near the definition of skinny. I’m not fat either; I am a perfectly average shaped lady who runs for fitness. So, by logic, any bulk on my calves is mostly muscle. But my point is, if I can’t get a zipper over my calves, how are the other average gals and slightly more than average gals supposed to find boots that work for them?

I understand that it’s easier to make clothes for skinny girls, BUT SHOES? REALLY? PEOPLE DON’T HAVE STICK CALVES. IF THEY DID THEY WOULD ALL FALL OVER BECAUSE THEIR LEGS WOULD BE INCAPABLE OF SUPPORTING THEIR BODY WEIGHT.

On a slightly unrelated sidenote does anyone else’s collarbone feel all exposed and like it’s about to snap whenever you see a freakishly skinny girl walking? #oddgirlIknowpleasedon’tjudgeme

Eventually I did find a pair that worked (one week later, mind you). But the fact that I couldn’t fully zip up a pair of boots was absolutely mind blowing. I spent the rest of the evening slightly pissed at everything just because of this one incident. Serisouly, shoe designers. Are you reading this? If so, hear me out: Make boots for normal people. Of average size. Not the 10% that are skinny. How am I supposed to feel when I can’t get a pair of stupid boots on?

Like throwing a chopping board out a window, that’s how.

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